Richard Carosielli
B: 1950-07-03
D: 2018-03-18
View Details
Carosielli, Richard
Jessica Fontanez
B: 1987-12-22
D: 2018-03-16
View Details
Fontanez, Jessica
Chelin Santoni
B: 1951-10-25
D: 2018-03-14
View Details
Santoni, Chelin
Horace Anderson
B: 1946-05-09
D: 2018-03-12
View Details
Anderson, Horace
Thomas Le
B: 1996-03-08
D: 2018-03-12
View Details
Le, Thomas
Lawrence Cabral
B: 1943-03-14
D: 2018-03-11
View Details
Cabral, Lawrence
Melissa Edmond
B: 1980-01-03
D: 2018-03-09
View Details
Edmond, Melissa
Marie McGrail
B: 1925-11-03
D: 2018-03-07
View Details
McGrail, Marie
Nancy Bouchard
B: 1940-08-20
D: 2018-03-07
View Details
Bouchard, Nancy
James Phelan
B: 1940-05-21
D: 2018-03-06
View Details
Phelan, James
Lydia Kiermont
B: 1936-11-09
D: 2018-03-02
View Details
Kiermont, Lydia
Charles Coretto
B: 1932-05-02
D: 2018-02-27
View Details
Coretto, Charles
Ryder Kingsley
B: 1979-12-29
D: 2018-02-26
View Details
Kingsley, Ryder
Robert Granton
B: 1953-08-11
D: 2018-02-20
View Details
Granton, Robert
Alan Wasilauskas
B: 1956-08-20
D: 2018-02-20
View Details
Wasilauskas, Alan
Helene Saunders
B: 1919-01-10
D: 2018-02-18
View Details
Saunders, Helene
Anna Lopez
B: 1929-09-11
D: 2018-02-17
View Details
Lopez, Anna
Kenneth Clabaugh
B: 1969-09-19
D: 2018-02-17
View Details
Clabaugh, Kenneth
Thomas Cornell
B: 1944-09-24
D: 2018-02-16
View Details
Cornell, Thomas
Juanita Perry
B: 1934-07-05
D: 2018-02-11
View Details
Perry, Juanita
Mary Ann Velez
B: 1956-03-04
D: 2018-02-07
View Details
Velez, Mary Ann


Use the form above to find your loved one. You can search using the name of your loved one, or any family name for current or past services entrusted to our firm.

Click here to view all obituaries
Search Obituaries
1987 E Main St.
Phone: (203) 753-1550
Fax: (203) 573-1744

Funeral Etiquette

Also known as social graces, the rules of etiquette ease us through challenging social situations. Most of us know how to behave in common circumstances but unless you've been to a lot of funerals, you may not know the rules of proper behavior in this often uncomfortable social situation.

The Basics of Funeral Etiquette

Emily Post once said, "Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others." Much of what we know today about etiquette comes from this woman, who published her first book of etiquette in 1922. When you use those words as your guide, the rules of funeral etiquette become easier to understand.

What to Wear

Tradition has always required a certain level of formality in dressing for a funeral. However, today's end-of-life services are so varied – ranging from the traditional funeral to the often more relaxed celebration-of-life – that it's challenging to know exactly what's expected of you.

The advisors on the Emily Post website tell readers that "attire isn't limited to just black or dark gray. Remember, though, that it is a serious occasion and your attire should reflect that, especially if you are participating in the service. At the very least it should be clean, neat, and pressed as for any other important occasion."

What to Say

No one expects you to say more than a few words and bereaved family members are often unable to give you their full attention anyway. So, keep it short and make it sincere.

"I'm so very sorry for your loss" may work very well. If you have time to add to those seven words, you might want to share a personal story about a time you shared with the deceased. But, watch closely for signs that your audience needs to move on to receive condolences from other funeral guests.

When speaking to other funeral guests, speak quietly. This is not a time to discuss business or share stories about your recent vacation. Instead, focus on sharing and listening to stories of times spent with the deceased.

What to Do

If you're unsure about what actions to take when being led by a pastor or celebrant, simply follow along. If you're not comfortable, don't draw attention to your unwillingness to participate. Be discrete and respectful of others.

Always leave your cell phone in the car or at the very least, turn it to vibrate mode or turn it off.

How to Handle the Visitation

A visitation, or viewing, is a time prior to the funeral where guests are invited to view the casketed body of the deceased. While it is customary to show your respects to the deceased by stepping up to the casket, you may not feel comfortable doing so. That's perfectly alright; no one wants you to be unnerved by the experience, so focus your attention instead on providing comfort to the bereaved family.

After the Funeral

If the deceased is to be buried following the service, the funeral officiant will announce the location of the interment. If the cemetery is not located on the grounds of the funeral home, there will be a processional of cars formed to escort the hearse to the cemetery. Unless they have chosen to have a private burial, those in attendance are welcome to join in the procession however, don't feel obligated to do so. You may simply leave the funeral at that time.

The Funeral Reception

Many families today hold a post-funeral gathering where food and refreshments are served. While this is a time to share memories, laughter, and even tears, your behavior at a funeral reception needs to remain respectful. 

Follow-up with Kindness

If you've not already done so, this is a good time to send the family a sympathy note or card. About a week after the funeral, pick up the phone to check in with them to see if there's anything they need.

"Good manners," wrote Emily Post, "reflect something from inside – an innate sense of consideration for others and respect for self." We think that just about sums it up; no matter the situation – wedding, baptism, dinner party or cocktails with friends – her observations about good manners (when followed) will serve us all well.



Have the Talk of a Lifetime Logo